Writings
What is the Difference Between Perfection and Enlightenment?
When we talk about perfection we’re often speaking of fantasies we have about what we should do and be. For example, the fantasies might sound something like: “I would be a better person if…” “…my butt was tighter.”“…I earned more money.”“…I was taller/shorter.”“…I was smarter.”“…I had a bigger house.”“…I had a more desirable partner.”“…I was…
Instant Happiness
This is the quickest and most reliable exercise I know of to shift into a positive mind state. On a scale of 1-10 note how happy you feel with 1 being absolutely horrifically miserable and 10 being wonderfully content. Find a partner and take turns asking each other the questions below. One person picks a…
How Enlightened are You John?
I’m not enlightened. But, I’m definitely lightened from my enlightenments. Once I try to claim enlightenment for myself my ego grabs a hold of the idea and everything gets very strange quickly. I start feeling grandiose, heavy, and unhappy. I’d rather stick with just being me. My doubts, thoughts, and emotions are not me. My…
Do I Need to be Spiritual or Religious to Have an Enlightenment Experience?
No! You just need to inquire into the truth of how things are. There is no difference between enlightenment and truth. The enlightenment experience itself is direct. In other words, there is no sensory intermediary between you and what you are experiencing. The experience, the experiencer, and the experienced are one and the same. However,…
Transforming Shame to Strength
In my study of how human beings work, nothing has been more interesting than shame. The good news is that you don’t feel shame because there is something wrong with you. Human beings are hardwired to feel shame as a social survival mechanism. Shame is a profound evolutionary advantage. Human beings are alive on the…
What are Strengths?
People talk a lot about strengths but it’s hard to find a concise definition. Here’s one: In the Embody Your Strengths program, “strengths” are defined as your most meaningful, energizing, and effective actions. This is a definition that’s supported by about 50 years of motivation research through a world-wide effort involving over a thousand scientists…
What is Enlightenment?
The first thing to understand about enlightenment is there’s nothing to actually attain. It is truly, “just you,” your natural state. As we come into this life we gather identities of different kinds. We select what is “me” and what is not “me.” In this way, we need to develop an ego in order to…
My Meeting with the Buddha
In 2004, After a friend gave me the book The Power of Now, I decided to start a meditation practice. Although I didn’t consider myself a Buddhist, I joined a Buddhist meditation group. This was partly out of curiosity and partly because I didn’t want to just meditate alone every day. Several months after I…
The Spiritual Bypass
Back in 2004 I was in a lot of personal pain and wanted to find the quickest way through it. Who could blame me? It felt miserable waking up every day and facing my life. I wanted a different one. My interest in spirituality increased considerably at around this time. How could I find peace…
Unconditional Positive Regard: The Key to Powerful Relating
We’ve all had interactions with people who believe in us and really connect with us somehow. Those interactions are often inspiring and energizing. The connection can also inspire a sense of loyalty to that person. This is the power of unconditional positive regard. Do you have a person like that in your life? If so,…